2015 WoodChips Calendar Weekly Planner

Get 4.333 More Smiles Per Month and Keep Your Life From Spinning Out Of Control with the new 2015 WoodChips Weekly Planner.

Hey, those funky monthly calendars only have 12 pictures for the year and tiny, microscopic little boxes to write in all your important stuff.  You could run out of space!  Miss important things!  Your life could spin out of control!  Aaaarrggghhhh!!!!

But the WoodChips Weekly Planner has BIG, Read the rest of this entry »

There Are Just Two Rules To Profitable Investing

There are just two rules for profitable investing ...

Cartoon Dialog:  Setting: Maple talking on two phones at her stockbroker office.
Maple: Buy, Sell.
Caption: There are just two rules to profitable investing.  Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Ha – that’s a good one.  Bet you thought I was going to say “Buy low, sell high.” (chuckle)

Honor To Our Chinese WoodChips

This month the WoodChips site received more views from China and our Chinese WoodChips friends than any other non US  country in the world.  So in honor of them we made this cartoon – using a great Chinese Proverb.  The Chinese have always had so many of these condensed pieces of wisdom about life.  And we hope the proverb in Chinese of  不要侮辱鱷魚,直到你過了河 means “It is best to cross the river first before telling the crocodiles they have bad breath” or something to that effect.

If it means this and our Chinese friends are amused and honored, then we take full credit for the traditional writing.  If not, and it means something totally crazy like I have a carrot stuck in my ear, then we lay the blame entirely on Read the rest of this entry »

The President Gives Stock Market Advice

Worried about the stock market? Here's some advice from the President.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody and Mimosa at the Bark n Barley Bar and a newscaster announcing breaking news on the television.
Newscaster: BREAKING NEWS…Today the stock market crashed hundreds of points!  Attempting to reassure the public, the President said, “Let me be clear, if I wasn’t President, I’d be buying stocks right now.”
Mimosa: What do you think about that, Woody?
Woody: Oh, I agree with him… If he wasn’t the President, I’d be buying stocks too.

Oakey Pokey’s Right To Bear Arms Confusion

WoodChips character Oakey Pokey may be confused about the constitutional right to bear arms.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody meets Oakey Pokey at the Fork In The Road.  Oakey Pokey has a long gun over his shoulder and his sirt sleeves are torn off and laying in the road beside him.
Woody: What happened to your shirt sleeves, Oakey Pokey?
Oakey Pokey: I tore them off.
Woody: Why did you do that?
Oakey Pokey: ‘Cuz I’m excercising my constitutional right to bare arms.
Note a little arrow is pointing to Oakey Pokey’s bare, sleeveless arms.

OMG! We Need Another Government

Maple is beginning to think we need a new government.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Maple and Elmer are watching legislation being passed in Washington D.C.

Senator: All in favor of the Omnibus Resolution for Perpetual War, Health Care Clarification Act (with 12,347 new rules), Freedom To Pilfer IRA Retirement Savings Act, the new Anticipated Dividend / Capital Gains Tax, Citizen’s Email Seizure Bill… hmmm… and funding Senator BlunderBum’s Grease My Campaign Contributors New Bridge To Nowhere Earmark… say Aye.

Maple: Oh My God!!!  We need another government just to protect us from our current government.

Have You Noticed This About Your Underwear

As you get older have you noticed this about your underwear.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: June Nipper standing with her guitar and a drink, asking a question.
June Nipper: Have you noticed as you get older that your underwear creeps up on you…
June continues: … and you kind of like it.

I think this would make a funny birthday card, don’t you?

Vegetarian Is Just An Old Indian Phrase

A lively discussion about being a vegetarian in the Bark n Barley Bar.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa, Woody and an Indian are in the Bark n Barley Bar.  Woody is eating a giant cheeseburger.
Mimosa: Woody, you shouldn’t eat that, it has a lot of fat in it.  You should be a vegetarian and get healthy.
Woody: Vegetarian!   Yechhh!  I’ll never give up my carnivorous ways.
Indian: Yeah, right, Woody!  Vegitarian is just an old Indian word for BAD HUNTER.

Just Exactly What Is A STRATEGY, Joe?

President Obama seems a bit confused about what a strategy is...

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: The White House.  President Obama and Vice President Joe are talking.
President Obama: Just exactly what is a STRATEGY, Joe?  Is it a fund raising technique… or maybe a new way to use my teleprompter… or what???
Vice President Joe: Hmmm… not sure where to begin with this one, Chief…

TRIBUTE TO FRANCE! J’aime le barbecue le plus …

This month, WoodChips subscribers in France viewed the WoodChips site more than any other non-US country.  So in a tribute to them, we created this cartoon in French.

And it seems to be a nice French sentiment, and one of mine as well.  Now, you have to be careful with translations, I mean, this may mistakenly say something like “Dan stuck a carrot in his ear,” so read with a grain of salt.

Click here for the English translation... or what I think it says (chuckle).

J'aime le barbecue le plus ...