Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa the bartendress and Woody are in the Bark n Barley Bar. A TV announcer is talking on TV.
TV Announcer: And in the stock market, our very own analyst Yul B. Broker, recommends you go long MilliSoft, and short ACME corporation.
Mimosa: I don’t get that stock market talk, Woody.
Woody: It’s easy, Mimosa. When you’re long, you make money when your stock goes up. And when you’re short, you make money when your stock goes down.
Mimosa: Ahhh… I think I’ve got it… So… here’s to your longs going up, and your shorts going down.
Woody: I’ll drink to that.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody and Mimosa the bartendress at the Bark ‘n Barley Bar. A news reporter is talking on the TV on the wall.
News Reporter: A recent university study concludes that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density.
Woody: They need it.
Mimosa: Why’s that?
Woody: They’re the ones falling down the most.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody and WC Tree having a brew together at the Bark ‘n Barley Bar: Hillary Clinton is on the TV screen.
Hillary: It’s a fact that we were so poor that the Bank of Arkansas came over and repossessed the free calendar they gave us at the county fair…
Woody: I’m always suspicious of “FACTS.”
WC Tree: Yeah, the only ones I trust are the ones I make up myself.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa in the Bark ‘n Barley Bar, with an open bottle of wine, demonstrating how to enjoy it.
Mimosa: The secret to enjoying a good wine is simple… Step 1: Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. Step 2: If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Setting: Elmer and Maple are in the kitchen, Elmer is looking for the bowl – which is right in front of him.
Elmer: Where’s the bowl?
Maple (pointing right at it and talking to her girlfriend on the phone, saying: Sorry, I had to fin all of the things that were in plain sight for Elmer.Elmer: I don’t care where you put it, just pleas put it back in the same place every time so I can find it.