The Other Side

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa and Captn Stumpy are on opposite sides of a river and waterfall out in the country.
Captn Stumpy: Hey, Mimosa… How do I get to the other side?
Mimosa (confused): Uhhh… …Hmmm… Oh silly!  You’re already on the other side!!!

Woody Wishes He Had Morgan Freeman’s Voice

Woody is wishing he had the Discovery Channel Morgan Freeman's deep voice
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody is at the Bark ‘n Barley Bar talking with bartender Mimosa.  Morgan Freeman is on the bar TV doing his Discovery Channel show.
Morgan Freeman: …and now we return to my Discovery Channel program… Through The Wormhole…
Mimosa: Oh My God!  I just love Morgan Freeman’s deep, rich voice!
Woody: Yeah, if I just had his deep voice with my good looks…
Mimosa: Then you’d just have his deep voice!
Woody: ???.

Note that I got the idea for this cartoon from a funny Twitter post by James Altucher, author of Choose Yourself, and other excellent books.  I have read two of them, Choose Yourself and Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth.  Both my copies are dog-eared and heavily underlined. You may gather from this fact that James is chock full of good ideas and I recommend his books…. oh, and he’s funny too.

You can learn more about James and his books here at http://www.jamesaltucher.com/books/.

I Didn’t Told You So

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody is at the Bark n Barley Bar.  His arm is in a sling.  Mimosa and June Nipper are behind the bar.  June has her traditional guitar and martini balanced on the end of it.
Woody: OUCH!!!  I broke my arm riding a motorcycle.
June Nipper: Hey, I’m not the kind of gal to say I told you so… but if I was, I’s really, really be saying it now.
Woody: Gee, thanks for your kind restraint.

All You Really Need In Life…

Cherry writes in her log that all you ever need in life is…

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Cherry is writing in her daily log.
Cherry Writes (thinking): I think all you really need in life is a friend with chocolate.

Maple Writes A Dear Santa Letter

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Maple is at her PC writing a Dear Santa letter.  Elmer is watching, scratching his head as he stands by the Christmas Tree with gifts under it.
Maple (typing): Dear Santa, This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body.  And please, don’t mix those two up like you did last year.  Sincerely, Maple EveryGreen.

Twas The Night Before Christmas …


Cartoon Dialog: Setting: The EveryGreen WoodChips family is all gathered around the Christmas tree in their house.  Everyone has an iPhone in their hand.  Even DogWood and the mouse have an iPhone.

Caption: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
They were all on their iPhones.

Mr. BigTwig Learns About Employee Productivity

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mr. BigTwig at his desk in his office.  A consultant from ABC Consulting is talking to him.
Consultant: Hi, I’m Joe from ABC Consulting… Would you like your employees to stay focused on their jobs?
Mr. BigTwig. Absolutely!
Consultant: THEN STOP INTERUPTING THEM!!!

That Which Doesn’t Kill You

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa, Woody and the Indian are at the Bark n Barley Bar.  Woody looks pretty messed up with his arm in a sling.
Mimosa: What happened to you, Woody?
Woody: I have so many problems I don’t know where to start.
Mimosa: Well… that which doesn’t kill you makes you strong.
The Indian: Right, Woody.  Hmmm… except for problems with bears.  Bears will kill you.
Caption: There is always an exception to the rule.

The First Five Days Are The Hardest

Cartoon Dialog:  Setting: Maple and Fern are talking at work on Monday morning.
Maple: Good morning, Fern, how’s it going?
Fern: Oh God, it’s always the first five days after the weekend that are the hardest.

2015 WoodChips Calendar Weekly Planner

Get 4.333 More Smiles Per Month and Keep Your Life From Spinning Out Of Control with the new 2015 WoodChips Weekly Planner.

Hey, those funky monthly calendars only have 12 pictures for the year and tiny, microscopic little boxes to write in all your important stuff.  You could run out of space!  Miss important things!  Your life could spin out of control!  Aaaarrggghhhh!!!!

But the WoodChips Weekly Planner has BIG, Read the rest of this entry »