Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody is at the Bark n Barley Bar. His arm is in a sling. Mimosa and June Nipper are behind the bar. June has her traditional guitar and martini balanced on the end of it.
Woody: OUCH!!! I broke my arm riding a motorcycle.
June Nipper: Hey, I’m not the kind of gal to say I told you so… but if I was, I’s really, really be saying it now.
Woody: Gee, thanks for your kind restraint.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Cherry is writing in her daily log.
Cherry Writes (thinking): I think all you really need in life is a friend with chocolate.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Maple is at her PC writing a Dear Santa letter. Elmer is watching, scratching his head as he stands by the Christmas Tree with gifts under it.
Maple (typing): Dear Santa, This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. And please, don’t mix those two up like you did last year. Sincerely, Maple EveryGreen.
Caption: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
They were all on their iPhones.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa, Woody and the Indian are at the Bark n Barley Bar. Woody looks pretty messed up with his arm in a sling.
Mimosa: What happened to you, Woody?
Woody: I have so many problems I don’t know where to start.
Mimosa: Well… that which doesn’t kill you makes you strong.
The Indian: Right, Woody. Hmmm… except for problems with bears. Bears will kill you.
Caption: There is always an exception to the rule.
Get 4.333 More Smiles Per Month and Keep Your Life From Spinning Out Of Control with the new 2015 WoodChips Weekly Planner.
Hey, those funky monthly calendars only have 12 pictures for the year and tiny, microscopic little boxes to write in all your important stuff. You could run out of space! Miss important things! Your life could spin out of control! Aaaarrggghhhh!!!!
But the WoodChips Weekly Planner has BIG, Read the rest of this entry »
This month the WoodChips site received more views from China and our Chinese WoodChips friends than any other non US country in the world. So in honor of them we made this cartoon – using a great Chinese Proverb. The Chinese have always had so many of these condensed pieces of wisdom about life. And we hope the proverb in Chinese of 不要侮辱鱷魚，直到你過了河 means “It is best to cross the river first before telling the crocodiles they have bad breath” or something to that effect.
If it means this and our Chinese friends are amused and honored, then we take full credit for the traditional writing. If not, and it means something totally crazy like I have a carrot stuck in my ear, then we lay the blame entirely on Read the rest of this entry »