Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Maple is at her PC writing a Dear Santa letter. Elmer is watching, scratching his head as he stands by the Christmas Tree with gifts under it.
Maple (typing): Dear Santa, This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. And please, don’t mix those two up like you did last year. Sincerely, Maple EveryGreen.
Caption: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
They were all on their iPhones.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa, Woody and the Indian are at the Bark n Barley Bar. Woody looks pretty messed up with his arm in a sling.
Mimosa: What happened to you, Woody?
Woody: I have so many problems I don’t know where to start.
Mimosa: Well… that which doesn’t kill you makes you strong.
The Indian: Right, Woody. Hmmm… except for problems with bears. Bears will kill you.
Caption: There is always an exception to the rule.
Get 4.333 More Smiles Per Month and Keep Your Life From Spinning Out Of Control with the new 2015 WoodChips Weekly Planner.
Hey, those funky monthly calendars only have 12 pictures for the year and tiny, microscopic little boxes to write in all your important stuff. You could run out of space! Miss important things! Your life could spin out of control! Aaaarrggghhhh!!!!
But the WoodChips Weekly Planner has BIG, Read the rest of this entry »
This month the WoodChips site received more views from China and our Chinese WoodChips friends than any other non US country in the world. So in honor of them we made this cartoon – using a great Chinese Proverb. The Chinese have always had so many of these condensed pieces of wisdom about life. And we hope the proverb in Chinese of 不要侮辱鱷魚，直到你過了河 means “It is best to cross the river first before telling the crocodiles they have bad breath” or something to that effect.
If it means this and our Chinese friends are amused and honored, then we take full credit for the traditional writing. If not, and it means something totally crazy like I have a carrot stuck in my ear, then we lay the blame entirely on Read the rest of this entry »
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody and Mimosa at the Bark n Barley Bar and a newscaster announcing breaking news on the television.
Newscaster: BREAKING NEWS…Today the stock market crashed hundreds of points! Attempting to reassure the public, the President said, “Let me be clear, if I wasn’t President, I’d be buying stocks right now.”
Mimosa: What do you think about that, Woody?
Woody: Oh, I agree with him… If he wasn’t the President, I’d be buying stocks too.
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody meets Oakey Pokey at the Fork In The Road. Oakey Pokey has a long gun over his shoulder and his sirt sleeves are torn off and laying in the road beside him.
Woody: What happened to your shirt sleeves, Oakey Pokey?
Oakey Pokey: I tore them off.
Woody: Why did you do that?
Oakey Pokey: ‘Cuz I’m excercising my constitutional right to bare arms.
Note a little arrow is pointing to Oakey Pokey’s bare, sleeveless arms.