While highly theoretical, many recent experiments have proven him correct, most recently those involving light bending around the sun.  In these experiments, pollsters, (specialized statistical trees most political parties are made of) gave people a $1000 cash and a stamped, self addressed post card which read, “Light bends as it travels around the sun.”

We aren’t exactly sure why the card said that, but are told it makes the story historically accurate.  In any event, each person who accepted the cash/card deal had to promise to drop the card in the mail.  All 3253 people took the cash, but only 642 mailed the post card, thus proving Dr. Einstem’s Special Theory of Reliability which you will recall states that, “you can count on some of the people some of the time.”

The experiment was repeated in Key West, although not with 3253 people, since pollsters couldn’t find that many sober people on the entire island.  However, they gave out cards and cash to everyone they could.

Unfortunately, they did this at happy hour.

All Key Westers took the money, but none of them mailed the card, thus proving Dr. Einstem’s General Theory of Reliability which states, “Sometimes, you can count on some of the people some of the time.”

The results of the latter experiment were debated by contemporary tree scientist of note saying that giving the Key Westers a post card and $1000 cash at happy hour skewed the results of the survey experiment.  And there are those nagging rumors that later on in the evening, inspired by the Key West national anthem Wasting Away In MerryTreeVille by Jimmy Bough-Fay, that all the Key Westers absentmindedly rolled up the post cards and smoked them.

Thus, controversy of Dr. Einstem’s theories of reliability go on.

However, these are not the only controversial aspects of tree culture, as we will see in additional Tree Science, Politics and yes, Creationism, which follows later in our dialog.

But first, lets meet Juan MoTime, who’s seems to be interested in all these things and more.