#62-Bummerball Frozen Turkey Net; A WoodChips Thanksgiving; Free 2013 Calendars




  • Bummerball Frozen Turkey Net
  • Hoping Your Thanksgiving Rocks!
  • A WoodChips Thanksgiving…
  • … The Complete History

  • Get Your Free 2013 WoodChips Calendars Here
  • Woods To Live By
  • 2013 Calendar Project-When Is Cinco De Mayo?

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From The WoodChips To You On This Holiday

   Hey, we all want to wish you a nice Thanksgiving – and offer one small piece of holiday advice…  which is to say “just pig out with no regret.”

   Also, we got so many nice comments on our History of WoodChips Thanksgiving last year we have reprinted it in this edition-hope you enjoy all the historical Pilgrim insights (chuckle).
   So on that note, have a great Turkey Day – J. Daniel and The WoodChips 

Hoping Your Thanksgiving Rocks

 A WoodChips Thanksgiving (the complete history)

Many tree rings ago, in about 1620 more or less, there was a small
forest in the old world of England. The trees in this forest wore funny
hats and big shoe buckles on their roots and were known as Pilgrims,
although no one really knows why they were called such an un-tree like

Why they were not called the Oaks, or even Quercus Roburs,
the Latin name for English Oak, because lots of trees spoke Latin back
then, remains an historical mystery to this day.

All that aside,
life was okay for the PilgrimTrees, but day by day they grew more
discontent in the old Forest. Their unhappiness stemmed from the fact
that they were not allowed freedom of exercise.

So they decided to split for the New Forest.

Actually, to be
historically accurate, they had already split once to another forest
called Holland, a crazy kind of place where the trees wore wooden shoes
which the Pilgrims thought was just too weird.  Worse yet, in Holland,
they had too much freedom to exercise and some of them were just plum
tuckered out.

So split they wood, yet again, for a forest far
across the ocean called America. That decided, they went shopping for a
big boat from a used boat salesman called Sir Woody. The whole
negotiation was pretty iffy until Woody made up a cute name for the boat
and told the Pilgrims it was called the Mayflower.

The Pilgrims really liked that, so they sealed the deal, hopped aboard and set sail for the New Forest across the ocean.

voyage was long and they sailed through many storms, the trees swaying
back and forth in the breeze to keep their balance.  After many months,
as they neared the shores of the New American Forest, another storm came
up.  As the wind howled through the mast trees, the sky became very
dark, so dark in fact that the Captain couldn’t see where he was going
and they crashed into a big rock.  Fortunately, their used boat didn’t
sink, and as the storm passed, the sky lightened so they could see where
they were.

To their amazement, the big rock they’d crashed into
had a 1959 Plymouth with big tail fins parked on it.  Now, they had been
told about this back in the old forest, but many had dismissed it as
urban legend. One of the teenage trees shouted, “Hey, that Plymouth
rocks” and from that time forward, the place was known as Plymouth Rock.

Such is how history is made.

here was undeniable proof that they had arrived at the American Forest
so the Pilgrim Trees were thankful. And this was not to be the last time
they were to be thankful, as we are about to see.

So they all
hopped off the boat, waded ashore and built a bunch of houses, because
they knew winter would soon be upon them. Everything seemed okay until
they realized they were hungry and didn’t have any food.

Miracle of miracles, about this time they noticed about ninety Click To Read The Amazing End Of A History Of Thanksgiving


Get Your Free 2013 Calendars Here Now – And Please Share With Your Friends
OK, so the free 2013 WoodChips calendars are finally ready.  All of the WoodChips have been working really hard on this project … hmmm … that is except DeadWood … who seems to have trouble with numbers, or work maybe.  Some of us are thinking he’s let out the clutch too fast on his HollyDavidson Unicycle … once too often (chuckle).
But no matter, what can be better than Cool and Free?  Get your calendars here, now … they have all the cool holidays like Belly Laugh Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day – even National WoodChips Day – and yeah, yeah, we have all the normal, boring holidays as well – big deal.
Also, there are a number of calendars to choose from … and we’ll be adding
more in the next few weeks, so you might want to check back from time to
So just scroll down and click on the calendar you like for instant access, and of course, you will get signed up for the free WoodChips
newsletter as well as we “see the forest through the trees.”
No worries if you already get the newsletter (as in the one you’re
reading now).  Signing up multiple times to get more calendars for you
and your friends won’t flood your email – you’ll still just get one
newsletter when they come out.
So get your fun WoodChips calendars now, and have a nice day – J. Daniel
P.S. Did I mention to forward this email to all of your friends so they can get their free calendars too (chuckle).
Woods To Live By


Since this issue is all about Thanksgiving, we thought these quotes seemed appropriate…

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck

“You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner, there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, ‘Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.’” — Dylan Brody

2013 Calendar Project – Just When Is Cinco De Mayo?


Folks here at WoodChips Central have been working at a feverish pace to get the 2013 calendars ready.  They finally wrapped the project up late last night.
Of course the Calendar Project has had it’s share of setbacks – like all projects.  First off, some members of the team questioned even doing the project, pointing out that the world was going to end on December 21st according to the Mayans – see World Ends 1 and World Ends 2.
I noted this was a fair point, but in a silly gesture of optimism, I said let’s do it anyway, just in case the world doesn’t end.  Also, being the Project Manager, had I canceled the project, I wouldn’t have had anything to do.
Then there was the deadline challenge as team members asked exactly when the deadline for completion was.  After careful consideration, I said it should be done before 2013.  There was a bit of grumbling on this point, I think mostly from the end of the world faction, but eventually I think there was a general agreement that producing a 2013 calendar before it actually was 2013 would prove most useful.
And finally, there was the big flap over just exactly what date the holiday Cinco De Mayo actually occurs on.  Some of us pointed out that Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for 5th of May — ummm … and we were thinking the holiday probably fell on the 5th of May.  More dissension, again, I think from the end of the world crowd.  It was almost like these folks like the end of the world concept because it excuses them from actually having to plan for or do anything – but that may just be crass on my part.
Finally, we settled the whole thing by looking it up on the Internets (as a former President used to call it).  Sure enough, Google search proved that Cinco De Mayo actually does fall on the 5th of May.  Go figure.  And before anyone could challenge that, I reminded them that if it’s on the Internet, it’s always true.  That stopped them dead in their tracks.
So all in all a pretty successful project, i.e. the purpose challenged, deadline disagreed on and total specification confusion.  So that’s the behind the scenes story for you for this years big calendar project. And that’s how we’ll leave it with you here at WoodChips Central, where every year we “seem to grow another ring wider and deeper in dirt.”

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

Please forward this email to your friends so they can enjoy it too … the WoodChips just LOVE attention!

P.S. Don’t forget – if you have a friend who you think would like to get the WoodChips newsletter and be part of our forest, please forward me their first name and e-mail address. They’ll get a polite invitation – which they can decline – and I never share my email lists. Just put Friend in the Subject Line. You can e-mail me here.

© 2011 J. Daniel Roberts. All rights reserved    www.TheWoodChips.com


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