World Ends At 10:00 on Apocalyptic Doomsday

World ends at 10:00 - Elmer thought the network carried the teaser a bit too far

I almost didn’t write a post today, what with the world ending.  It’s not often that we have an apocalyptic doomsday, after all.

That said, I think the chances of you receiving this message are dicey, so … please contact me if you didn’t receive this message.  Note: I received a customer letter the other day that actually said this.  I’m not exactly sure how I would know I didn’t receive the letter but still … I think it’s a really good precaution and was impressed at how well they had thought the whole thing through.

Back to the end of the world thing – I suppose I ought to take some action to prepare for this, like back up my hard drive or something.  Yeah, that’s it, and maybe go buy a bunch of canned goods and bottled water.

Actually, I already did that.  I went to the store and, thank God, people had not stripped the aisles bare of necessities yet.  In fact, the store seemed rather well stocked, come to think of it.  I chalk this up to me planning well ahead of the masses.  I rather smugly rolled four grocery carts of the stuff to my car.

Anyhow, you might want to run down to the store yourself before everyone catches on.

Hmmm … also, being an American, I’m sure I need to go buy a bunch of guns and ammunition.  I haven’t done this one yet.

The end of the world doesn’t come around all that often and personally, I think it’s a big deal.  But just in case you miss it, don’t worry, we have another one coming up in 2012, so you’ll get another shot at it.

It’s a Mayan thing I think.  Their calendar ends in 2012, which seems rather odd since their civilization ended hundreds of years ago.

Personally, I think they just ran out of numbers.  After all, the number google hadn’t been invented yet.  You know google – it’s a number followed by a hundred zeros.  For those of you not mathematically inclined, that’s a really big number.  For example, it’s estimated that the total number of electrons in the universe is only a number followed by 40 zeros, a trifling amount, really.

So we can deduce that the world ending is not due to us running out of numbers, because we have invented the number google since the Mayan civilization ended.  It must be for some other reason.

So why is the world ending today?

Well, the whole thing comes from Harold Camping, an 89 year old who runs Family Radio, a network of Christian radio stations.  He’s some kind of biblical math genius who, based on a verse in Genesis (which says the world will end in seven God days after the end of Noah’s flood) calculated this to be May 21, 2011.

For those of you not in the know, he says God days are 1000 years, so that works out to 7000 years after Noah’s big flood event.  The logic seems reasonable and the math impeccable because he was a civil engineer before he turned to running his radio stations.  Also, I personally checked the math which is (7 X 1000 = 7000) – he’s dead bang on with this.

Personally, I’m a bit miffed it’s happening on a Saturday.  That’s normally the day I pick up my laundered shirts and do my grocery shopping, so it’s kind of inconvenient for me that the world ends today.  Why they couldn’t do it during the work week is beyond me.

Anyhow, I take him at his word, because, how humiliating would it be if I didn’t and the world ended – I mean, that would be pretty embarrassing.

Thank goodness, I’ve got the grocery thing done already.  So I’ll probably just watch it all happen from my porch.  Maybe I’ll smoke a nice cigar, a Monty Cristo, perhaps.  And I’ll have my camera too, because I think the sky always does some weird things during the end of the world.

That way I can post the pictures on Facebook next week for all my friends. 

Now won’t that be cool.

Have a nice day … ummm … last day – J. Daniel

P.S. Don’t forget to back up your hard drive.

One Response to “World Ends At 10:00 on Apocalyptic Doomsday”

  1. Marty says:

    RE: End of world

    Somehow there is a profit motive involved here, I just haven’t figured out exactly what it is. I’m sure that nice Reverend Camping would be happy to explain how we all misinterpreted what he said if we were to send him a small (or large) donation! From what I’ve seen that is how all great religious leaders work!

    I’ll be drinking a TnT in his honor(memory?) this evening.


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