Trees Make New Year’s Resolutions Too, You Know

Elmer EveryGreen (Evergreen) making his new year's resolutions. Trees make resolutions too, you know.

Trees make New Year’s resolutions too, you know.  After all, they grow a tree ring every year, so they like to plan for their future ring.  Lately it seems I’ve been growing a few too many rings, and some pretty thick ones at that, so I’ll touch on what to do about that later in the post.

But right now, here’s Elmer, sipping on a little Hard Water on New Year’s Eve and writing his New Year’s resolutions.

I think he’s got a pretty good list going here, don’t you?

He’s resolving to hit the hard water just a touch less and to eat less junk fertilizer, so he’s got the health improvement thing going on — always a good idea.  And he’s going to be nicer to his neighbors in the forest by not putting them so much in the shade.

And he’s doing something larger than himself — he’s going to help save the planet by resolving to absorb 25% more carbon dioxide in 2011 — a very environmentally friendly plan.  Of course, all the trees are environmentally green in their heartwood.

I really like his stretch goal of growing twelve feet next year — and his personal enlightenment goal of growing toward the sun.

But I favor most of all his resolution to pay more attention to his Tree Mate and shelter his saplings.  After all, family and friends are the most important thing when it comes right down to it.

Noticeably absent are some weight loss and exercise (swaying in the wind) goals.  There’s a very practical reason for this.  I ran out of space in the cartoon bubble (chuckle).  Actually, I could have worked them in, but chose instead to discuss these in a separate post called the Crystal Harris vs. Twinkie Diet.

Crystal Harris is  a 24 year old former Playboy Playmate who just became engaged to 84 year old Hugh Hefner.  Now the women in the auduence are going to read this with noble intentions of finding out what kind of diet she’s on to mantain a fit form.  But candidly, I have some REAL suspicions about why the guys are going to read this and click on the link I provide (G-Rated, Not X-Rated) … remember guys, for those of you that have ever bought a Playboy, you got it for the articles, right!?!?

Anyhow, I think you’ll find it most interesting.  I also show a chart of how I lost 30 pounds in six months using the Crystal Harris style diet, and the easy way I did it.  So you might want to check that out.

Meanwhile, back to Elmer, what do you think of his resolutions.  Can you think of any more “tree oriented” things he could resolve to do (example from above – swaying in the wind for exercise)?

If so, just click on the title of this post, and write your suggestions to Elmer in the comment box that appears below.

And Happy New Year to you from the WoodChips and myself – J. Daniel

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