The Presidential Debates – Key Question

Finally, a big issue for the Presidential debates.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Elmer watching Presidential debate moderator announcing key debate question for the night.
Moderator (on television): We begin tonight’s Presidential Debates with the all-important question… “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Possible candidate answers (and other luminaries thoughts as well).


DONALD TRUMP:  We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road.  We will have a door for legal chickens.


CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.


RAND PAUL: It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.


BERNIE SANDERS: Greed — she wanted to join the one tenth of one percent of chickens guilty of foul play, while the rest of the flock just brood about earning a very poultry sum.  BTW, the name of the road: Wall Street.


COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.


NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.


CARLY FIORINA: Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.


BRIAN WILLIAMS: I crossed the road with the chicken.


BEN CARSON: This isn’t brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the road?


SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!


BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.


HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.


AL GORE: I invented the chicken.


AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2016, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.


ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


As mentioned, thanks to alert WoodChips reader Bob G. of California, and friend, for sending us this preview of the key debate question and possible candidate answers.  Also note, after careful research, Bob added the Bernie Sanders insight himself.

We would also like to give credit to the original author of this insightful list, although we don’t know who they are.  But we’ll be glad to make them an Honorary WoodChip, and publish their name, with full credit to them, in the next issue of the WoodChips if they care to email us at with the subject: Debate Chicken.

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