Sketchy Politics

The Etch-A-Sketch Mitt Romney political campaign bus
Okay, so some of you may think the bus looks a lot like an Etch-A-Sketch.

And some may think I am picking on Republican political candidate Mitt Romney – who, by the way – just had a staffer say that after the primary election was over they could just reset him (implied – on the issues) like shaking an Etch-A-Sketch and making the screen blank again.

Hmmmm … well, you are right about the bus.  Strangely, it does resemble an Etch-A-Sketch, what with those straight connected lines and the white bus wheels that seem to resemble Etch-A-Sketch control knobs.  Funny how that worked out, really.

But you’re only a little bit right on me picking on Mitt.  I am, perhaps, going for bigger fish.  Like politics in general – in America – and around the world – in the history of mankind (we think big here at WoodChips Central).

You see, Mitt’s developed a near fatal problem in the past few days.  And you will NEVER guess what it is.  I’m not talking about the fact that some voters are saying he is yawn-wide boring.

And I’m not saying that it’s because his staffer said he would reset after he won the primary election.  Because virtually ALL presidential candidates do this.  They reset.  This is not unique to Mitt.

Democrat or Republican – they all do it.  So let’s just say you’re a Republican candidate.  You want to win the primary election really, really, really bad.  Actually, you have to or you are not the candidate.  So you say a lot of real Republican right wing things to curry favor with your Republican voters – I don’t know, let’s say stuff like “a chicken in every pot – BUT funded by deep budget cuts.”

Then when you win the Republican nomination, you have to get all those Democrat and Independent voters.  Because now you’re trying to win the election, not just your political party nomination.  So you scurry like a rat over to the left and change your story a bit.  You start talking about how high the price of chicken is, and how you’re going to go after those evil chicken speculators — all the while maintaining your deep commitment to free enterprise.

See what I mean?  And it’s the same with Democratic Presidential candidates, really.  They just change the order – they start out with righteous threats about the evil chicken speculators, then change up to the fiscally responsible promise of “a chicken in every pot – BUT funded by budget cuts.”  Note they didn’t say DEEP cuts — but they scurry like rats too — just the other direction.

Even Richard Nixon admitted to this – honest fellow that he was (although if memory serves, he did not say this when he was running for office).

Each candidate takes it just as far as they can to get the most voters  but, and here’s the trick, without going too far.  It’s actually a lot like a game of political chicken, come to think of it.  So the Romney Etch-A-Sketch thing is not his big problem today.  It’s something much, much worse.

Romney’s huge problem today is that someone on his staff told the truth.  Good God!  Truth in today’s American political scene (indeed, most of the world’s) is a huge liability and can lose elections.  I mean – the voters just don’t go for it (check out Ron Paul’s delegate count if you don’t believe me –  I mean, here’s a man in his 70’s that just seems to speak his mind and what he believes – too weird, folks just can’t go there).

But all is not lost on the Romney scene.  Like I said in the beginning, I’m not picking on Mitt.  There’s still hope for him.  Because, fortunately, a ziptillion more dollars here, and some ginormous advertising spending there, and no doubt he will recover just fine.

After all, Republican or Democrat, we have the best government in the world that money can buy.

That’s American Exceptionalism for you.  It makes you right proud, doesn’t it?

But these guys really need to lose that “truth” thing.

Have a nice day – J. Daniel (swelling up with voter pride).

P.S.  For a brief moment, I wondered what our aversion to the truth from political candidates said about us as voters … but I quickly passed on that.  No worries – hmmm … maybe there’s a good sitcom or brainless reality TV show I can watch instead.

P.P.S. Don’t you wonder, after thousands of years of recorded history, if we will ever catch on to this political game?  Nah!  Not happenin’.  Etch-A-Sketch rules.

P.P.P.S. As an historical note, before the invention of the Etch-A-Sketch, this was known as a “clean slate.”  Or in ancient Egypt – “fresh papyrus.  Neanderthals – “new cave wall.”  And Neanderthal politicians were known to think big, often running splashy cave wall ads promising “a mastodon in every pot.”  You get the picture.  This phenomenon has been around for a long time

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