How Come Those That Know The Least …

In a humorous post a couple of months ago, entitled They Breed and Walk Among Us, the author described a classroom discussion at Purdue University about the qualifications for President of the United States.  The qualifications are that you must be a natural born citizen and 35 years old.

Simple enough.  However, per the article, one girl felt that the natural born citizen requirement was unfair because it kept many capable candidates from qualifying, ranting on with the question, “what about those born by c-section?”

So, of course, I checked her facts, and yup, sure enough, right there in the constitution (see below) there was no mention whatsoever of c-sections.

You’re probably thinking I cut the c-section part off, so here’s the full text which reads, “No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”

Still no c-section thing.  So technically I guess she was correct (chuckle).

Now I have no idea if this is a true event or one of those internet attention grabbing urban myth things, so I take this cum grano salis.  And in deference to Purdue University, no doubt it is chock full of well informed people.  So don’t believe everything you read on the internet, except at The WoodChips site, of course.

I have no idea how I ran into this post, and you can laugh (or cry) about it if it is true, but it made a fun subject for a cartoon.  And a great segue for Captn Stumpy’s possible Presidential campaign.

After reviewing some of the competition’s governmental knowledge, and possible candidates in 2012, the old captain thinks he has a pretty good shot at running for President.  He’s currently investigating his natural born citizen qualifications to make sure he’s eligible, although this research is just a formality because he’s pretty sure he wasn’t born by c-section.  And he thinks he has two unassailable qualifications.

For one, he does a pretty mean stump speech.  And the real clincher is, he has a Facebook page, which qualifies you for just about anything except a home mortgage loan – of which there are no qualifications these days – so just go with me on this.

Stumpy’s final decision will rest on serious research into the availability of rum at the White House.

That said, he’s stumpin’ around these days, working on his campaign slogans, like “Grog in every pot” and “It’s the jobs, stupid … aarrrgghh.”

So if you want to support Captn Stumpy for President, or have a campaign slogan for him, just click on this post’s title and leave a comment at the bottom.  And go ask him to be your friend at Facebook (Captn Stumpy) … even if you’re a low down chum bucket knave varlet – or maybe especially so – he’ll say “aye matey.”

Hey, you never know, you could soon have friends in high places.

Life is Wood – J. Daniel

Post Script:

To see the post They Breed and Walk Among Us, go to

You can find more fun articles by using the following search on Google – just copy and paste – purdue university girl natural born citizen and c-section

And on a more serious note, here’s a great discussion on the qualifications for President of the United States.  I think you will be surprised.

Cum grano salis – Latin – with a grain of salt

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