Friends in High Places

My friend Dave just recently posted a picture like this on Facebook with the caption “Worked in this place last night.”

Sensing that the picture was the seat of government power, I did an immediate carpe moment, which is Latin for seize the moment or something like that and the following one-sided dialog ensued — by the way, these are the best kind of dialogs because people can’t argue with you or bother you with annoying facts.

Me: Wow, Dave … guess I have friends in high places now … good to know.

Me: Hmmmm … not to press our friendship or anything but could you push forward some legislation that sends significant bailout TARP money to sailors that formerly lived in Alton, worked at Express-Scripts and currently reside in Orlando … this is in the interest of National Security or something like that…

Me: Uh … to the National Security thing … these TARP funds will be used to purchase a new 34 foot Sailboat called the Saline Solution III which will be used to diligently ply the waters offshore of Miami keeping a sharp lookout for bad guys (that is when the Captn is not excessively fortified with Grog).

Now just coincidently, I happen to be an avid sailor, have lived in Alton, worked at said company, live in Orlando and owned a sailboat in Miami named the Saline Solution II before hurricane Wilma ate it.  So my thinking was that I was eminently qualified for the TARP funds, since everyone else seems to be getting them, including, most recently, the Wealthy Wall Street Bankers For Whales Fund, which I consider unfair and ridiculous because it seems to make fun of whales and they can’t type a response on their laptops because their flippers are too big.

So I’ll keep you posted on this.  In the meantime I hope you rest easier at night just knowing that more federal funds may be put to work to beef up our national security.

You feel better already, right?

Have a nice day – and always carpe moment when you get the chance – J. Daniel

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