Oh my, I feel another government bailout coming on, don’t you?

I’m talking about a cruise line — let’s say they are called something like Cornyval Cruise Lines (not their real name) that’s had a rash of problems lately, what with their generators failing out at sea, hmmm, which makes the plumbing fail out at sea, hmmm, which doesn’t make for the best of cruise conditions, hmmm, out at sea.

So anyhow, I heard an interesting comment about all of this in the office today.  A co-worker said she thought it was sabotage.

Now hey, I’m no contheoracy spirist (obviously since I can’t even spell it).  And this just may be office gossip.  But in the fine contemporary journalistic tradition of not letting facts get in the way of a good story, I’ll just keep talking.

So anyway, during our conversation, it crossed my mind that the cruise lines purportedly pay their basic employees squat, and work them 90 hours a week, and, hey, I started thinking someone might finally get so peeved about that – well, that they just might accidentally on purpose let a wrench fall into a generator spinning a gazillion RPMS just to see the sparks fly.

So if you hear this broadcast in the mainstream news sometime (who seldom let facts get in the way of a good story too), well, you heard it here first.

And if not, hey, it was just office gossip – I already indemnified myself and I can’t be held responsible for that kind of stuff… like the mainstream news, like the politicians, etc.

So the whole thing may be a little iffy.  But of course, the government bailout thing is dead certain, I would think.

Have a nice day – J. Daniel (who is definitely not a contheoracy spirist)

CARTOON DIALOG:

SETTING: WoodChip characters TreeBoone and Maple watcting the cruise ship Eck-Tasy being towed into port after experiencing a generator failure, resulting in the plumbing not working.

TreeBoone: I wonder if ObamaCare covers cruise lines?

Maple:  I’m thinking more a government bailout.

TreeBoone: Yeah, what with all the pumbing backed up.

I had a friend tell me the other day they didn’t think I believed much in the Federal Government.

Ha! Now that’s a good one.

I really do believe in the Federal Government.  I believe they do two things better than anyone else on the planet.  And those things are…

1) Doing nothing

2) Over-reacting

See there.  See how easy it is for people – even friends – to not know where you stand on the Federal Government.

So do you believe in the Federal Government?

Send me a comment – let me know how you really feel .

And have a nice day – J. Daniel

CARTOON DIALOG:

Maple and TreeBoone are looking over Washington D.C. a.k.a. “The Hill.”

Maple: I hear there’s a real blizzard heading to Washington D.C.

TreeBoone: Who would know – there’s always a big snowjob going on in this town.

Maple: Amazing really… considering all of the hot gas flying around the place.

Cartoon Dialog:

Two WoodChips, Maple and TreeBoone, are in Washington D. C.

Maple: I heard the economy is so bad that lobbyist had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

TreeBoone: Wow, that bad!

Caption below cartoon: Now Washington really feels our pain.

CARTOON DIALOG:

A bunch of WoodChips are working in the office in their cubicles.

Guy WoodChip: YAHOO!!! I just got my favorite kind of email.

Gal WoodChip: What kind is that?

Guy WoodChip: Someone canceled a meeting.

Gal WoodChip: Can you forward me a copy?

Other WoodChips in their cubes:  Me too!  Me too!

I thought to share a fun update with you this issue.  So, you may recall I was flying back to Orlando a couple of Fridays ago after being stranded in a St. Louis winter storm which had caused my earlier flights to be canceled.  Lucky for me, I was able to reserve the last available seat on a flight out of town the next day.

And in the madhouse at the airport I met a great couple in the airport security line and handed the wife the above pictured card after she had been singled out for a pat down by the TSA (click here for the entire story).

Also recall I said in my web site post that if they would email me with “TSA Couple” in the subject line, so I could pick it out of the thousands of emails we get, that they would become Read the rest of this entry »

Get a free 2014 WoodChips calendar with this cartoon on it… calendars have all the cool holidays, like Belly Laugh Day, and Talk Like  Pirate Day… and yeah, yeah, all the normal boring holidays too.  Just click below…

Cartoon Dialog:

Office Worker 1(from their cubicle): How’s it going?

Office Worker 2 (also from their cubicle): I’m living the dream…

Office Worker 1: REALLY???

Office Worker 2: But it’s somebody else’s dream.

June Nipper playing Mangroves Leaf You

You may be surprised to know that a few of the WoodChips characters are based on real people.  And one of my favorites in that category is June Nipper.

June’s real name is Pat, and she was a work associate of mine some years ago.  She was a great, fun-loving gal with an outrageous sense of humor.  Also, very bright, well read and she played the guitar and sang professionally.

And when it came time to party, well, I honestly believe Pat (June Nipper) could balance a martini on the end of her guitar while she played and sang.

So here’s a toast to Pat, a.k.a. June Nipper.

J. Daniel

Cartoon Dialog:

Setting – Woody is at the Bark ‘n Barley bar talking with the barkeeper Mimosa.

Mimosa: Why are you so down, Woody?

Woody: Because I’ve been working on my income taxes and it’s not looking good.

Mimosa: Why do we have to pay taxes anyway – why can’t the government just pay for everything?

I was flying back to Orlando on Friday after being stranded in St. Louis due to the winter storm that hit Thursday — which had caused my flight to be canceled.  Lucky for me, I was able to reserve the last available seat on the flight.

You may imagine that the airport was a madhouse — and you would be correct in that thought.

As I was going through the TSA security, a nice, attractive couple was in front of me.  Then, big surprise, for some reason, the woman was pulled aside by the TSA for a thorough search.
Honest to God, I would have never thought her a terrorist, but then I’m just a low life American tax-paying citizen layman when it comes to airport security, so what do I know, really.

As she was being spread eagled and electronically wanded and searched and patted down, I was reassembling all my things, putting my shoes and belt back on, making sure I still had both of my laptops, my iphone, my billfold, my money, my suitcase, my briefcase, my overcoat, my suit coat, my driver’s license, my boarding pass, my sanity and anything else I had disassembled into ten plastic tubs to get through the checkpoint.

As she was cleared, I overheard her husband nearby say, “wasn’t that a wonderful massage, dear.”  My madcap sense of humor kicked into high gear and I looked at her and said, “Do you have a great sense of humor?”

She said yes, so I pulled this WoodChips card out of my pocket and gave it to her and said, “You might like this – because you have just been through it.”

She smiled and took the card and I moved on out of the security area and started walking toward my gate, thinking, gee, I hope her and her husband don’t take offense.  A couple of minutes later, as this thought was starting to pass out of my mind, her husband … hmmm … a rather large guy, approached me. Read the rest of this entry »

Soooo … it’s getting down to the wire on getting a Valentines Day card. Actually, if you were planning on mailing it, I’m sad to say, you may be too late.

No worries. You can send our free WoodChips TreeCard (e-card) pictured above and it will arrive instantly. Outside of showing a fun, forest twist on Valentines day, it just might keep you out of the doghouse, or at least get you parole.

So go ahead and send it — you can add a personalized message made just for that special person you are thinking about.

To send your Valentines Day Tree-Card click here. Or you can click on the TreeCards menu button at the top of this page.  Then just search through the holidays menu and you can send it.

So have a nice day and don’t forget to do this, I’m trying to help you out here – J. Daniel

P.S. If you are in the male gender, I’d be sure and buy some flowers and chocolates too. Flowers for the heart, and, well, when it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.  If you’re a gal, well, I’ll leave the gift idea up to you.  I’m sure you can come up with something .