Archive for the ‘Total BullChip (No Explanation Needed)’ Category


Autobiography

Mimosa seems a bit confused about the meaning of the word “autobiography,” doesn’t she?  So when Woody asks her down at the Bark ‘n Barley bar if she’s ever thought about writing one, she asks, “About what?”

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Please Stop Flying Your Private Jets

For all you readers out there that have been flying around in your private jets, please stop at once. We are being advised from the highest political levels that you are destroying our economy — please see our press photo above of a recent presidential speech from HealthcAir Force One (Air Force One) concerning extravagant [...]

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Debt Crisis, Dunkin Donuts and Football

WoodChips football expert J. Schmidbauer advises me that the football season is upon us and thank God for that.  I think you’ll all agree after the past couple of months we could use a break. It has been positively stressful lately.  We’ve  faced numerous simutaneous crises such as  1) a football strike, 2) inability to invest [...]

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TMA – Too Many Acronyms

Don’t you just hate it when people use too many acronyms in a meeting? I swear, the meetings I attend these days are nothing but acronyms – which makes them incredibly hard to understand. One of the worst fields for acronym abuse is IT (Information Technology – i.e. Computers) whose name is even an acronym.  [...]

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Hold Da Mayo (Or Is That Cinco De Mayo)

One evening Woody was spilling his usual sawdust to Mimosa down at the Bark ‘n Barley Bar.  She’d mentioned Poco Loco was in earlier, very excited about a Mexican holiday coming up on the fifth of May.  She thought it would be nice to have a little surprise for Poco at the bar, but didn’t [...]

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BullChip-A-Tron 9000 Stunning Press Release

In a stunning press release today, computer scientists at WoodChips Central announced that the BullChip-A-Tron 9000 has cleared beta testing and is now in production.  The BullChip-A-Tron 9000 is a highly advanced heuristic artificial intelligence computer that can translate inane drivel told to customers and citizens by businesses and politicians throughout the world.  WoodChips computer scientists [...]

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Flying Is Safe, It’s The – That Is Dangerous

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Sometimes It Really Is Captain Marvel

Sometimes the improbable, no matter how unlikely it may seem, really does happen. Like a near nuclear reactor meltdown due to a highly improbable 8.9 earthquake in Japan. The number 8.9 just doesn’t sound as big and as bad as it really is when it comes to earthquakes.  This is because scientists use a logarithmic [...]

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Groundhog Day Wars In Orlando

Groundhog Day is celebrated in the United States and Canada, presumably because they have areas that can get really cold.  So by this time of the year people are winter weary and in need of hope that the sun will shine again and Spring will arrive. Lending credence to the “cold weather” theory is the [...]

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