CARTOON SETTING:
Setting:  Sign says YewZappum Hunting Lodge – Featuring Drone Deer Hunting.
A hunting lodge is in the background.  A deer is intently looking at Woody and the deer hunter from behind the sign – using binoculers.
And a drone in the sky has just released an explosive missle going straight for the deer.

DIALOG:
Woody: It’s the latest thing in deer hunting.  Plus we include the meat packaging for free.
Hunter: Awesome… so how much meat would that be exactly?
Woody: Oh, about a pound of dee rburger… whatever we can find.

IN CASE YOUR FRIEND DIDN’T GET IT
Hey, just in case your friend didn’t get the joke, this is how you can explain it to them… Drones are airplanes that Read the rest of this entry »

IMAGE and SETTING:  A silhoutte progression from ape to pre-human to Neanderthal to Homo Sapiens to WoodChip.

SETTING:  Elmer is fishing in a stream.  There is a big wall with an eye in it that he has hooked.

CAPTION: Catching the elusive WallEye.

CARTOON DIALOG:

Setting: Cherry writing in her Daily Log… thinking

Cherry (her thought as writing): OK, so I finally figured out where babies come from…

… but who brings the storks THEIR babies?

Caption: Cherry was always puzzling over things in her daily log.

CARTOON DIALOG:

Setting:  Woody and Mimosa the bartendress are in the Bark n Barley bar.  Woody is writing something.

Mimosa: Hey Woody, what are you writing?

Woody: A Want Ad.

Mimosa: A Want Ad!  What’s that about?

Woody: Wanted: An air-tight alibi for last night from 8 PM ’til midnight.

CARTOON DIALOG:

SETTING:  Three houses,  One is built very nice, one is being built really fast, and one is a total shack.

Nice house: You can have it good

Fast House: or fast

Shack: or Half Fast (cheap)

Pick any two!

CARTOON DIALOG:
Setting: Maple and Elmer standing in front of the Statue of Liberty.  Elmer is pointing to a sign that says, “Give me your emails, your passwords, your phone call records… I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
Maple: I thought it was about liberty and freedom for the huddled masses and stuff like that.
Elmer: No – it’s been updated.  Think of it as the new Freedom Release 2.0.
Maple: So it’s an improvement?
Elmer: Not really… more like the Windows 8 release disaster where they totally forgot about the user.

CARTOON DIALOG:

Setting:  Mr. BigTwig is holding a budget meeting with Maple and co-workers.  There are papers all over the conference room table.

Mr. BigTwig:  Blah, blah, blah … not to mention we’re also over budget by 50%.

Maple (commenting to co-worker):  How come when somebody says, “Not To Mention,” they always mention it?

Caption at bottom of cartoon:  Not to mention people who draw cartoons about it.

I’ve got to say, things have just turned out swimmingly this week.  I mean, help comes from the strangest places — and when you least expect it.

For example, all week I have continued to struggle with the new MilliSoft (not the real company name) operating system called Broken Windows Panes 8 on my new laptop.  And I’ve been plagued by a persistent pop-up window from the Snorton anti-virus company (also not their real name) with dire threats about how I haven’t activated some kind of backup system that they insist I should have (for a fee) and if I don’t my security will be really, really, really threatened.

When all of a sudden, out of the blue, I see on the evening news that the federal government, through their helpful branch the NSA (and an ex-employee now polishing up his Mandarin Chinese), and also big-time into security, has been reviewing and copying all my emails.

I, of course, assume such a benevolent government is being overly modest and is no doubt looking through and copying all my files as well.

And there you have it.

Backup problem solved.

The NSA is now offering free backup for Americans.  And isn’t that a perfect example of a new government program that helps us all.  But it gets better still.  Because they have been doing this as a joint venture with some big businesses.  And isn’t that just the thing – government and business helping each other.  It’s almost too much synergy for a mere mortal citizen to comprehend and appreciate.

Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out they are actually doing this for citizens in other countries around the world as well.  I suppose, technically, they probably classify this as foreign aid or something – but hey, that’s just government speak and no matter really.

Because here’s the great part.  You don’t even have to opt in for the free service.  They just take it on for you with no effort on your part.

So set you computer backup worries aside.  If you ever accidently wipe out your emails, or delete an important file, I bet you can just ask the NSA to download a copy for you.  Of course, you may have to fill out a form(s) or something.  But you’ll be back in business in no time.

Who’d a thunk it (big grin).

Have a backup, worry-free day – J. Daniel