RedFoliage Sings The Perfect Country Western Christmas Song

RedFoliage sings the perfect country western Christmas song.
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Christmas Caution – Be Careful What You Wish For

Maple used to wish her computer was as easy to use as her phone...
Setting:  Maple and Elmer by the Christmas Tree opening gifts.  Maple is holding a cellular phone, next to four huge technical manuals about it.
Maple: I used to wish my computer was as easy too use as my phone…
Maple : I got my wish…
Maple: Now I don’t know how to use it either.
Elmer (thinking): I wonder how you just make a phone call on it… like to the Help Desk
Sub Heading: Hoping ALL Most of your Holiday wishes come true (note that ALL is crossed out).

Bankers Catch Christmas Fee-Ver

Who says bankers don't get the generous Christmas spirit...

Setting: Elmer and Maple standing outside BarkLeaf Bank.  Elmer is pointing to a sign that says: Merry Christmas… subject to Holiday Season Fees; Santa Service Charge; Christmas Club Fee.
Elmer: Hey, it looks like the bank has caught the Christmas Spirit.
Maple: Yeah… more like they caught a Christmas FeeVer!

NeanderTrees Go Christmas Clubbing

It was a primordial time and the NeanderTrees didn't quite get the concept of Christmas.
Cartoon Dialog: Two NeanderTrees talking in front of their cave, which has a decorated Christmas Tree out front using a rock as a Christmas Tree stand.  One NeanderTree is holding a big club.

First NeanderTree:  So what do you want to do tonight on Christmas Eve?
Second NeanderTree:  Let’s go clubbing!
First NeanderTree:  Good idea… there always seems to be a lot of reindeer flying around this time of year.
Sub Heading:  It was a primordial time and the NeanderTrees hadn’t quite figured out Santa Claus, reindeer and the spirit of Christmas.

I Hate Words Ending In O-Scopy

Elmer is just a little shocked at the O-Scopy procedure Doctor TreeAge is proposing.

Cartoon Setting: Elmer is in Doctor TreeAge’s office.  Doctor TreeAge is holding a long, probing device with a camera on the end of it.
Elmer: You want to do a What-O-Scopy?!
Sub Heading: I Hate words ending in O-Scopy.

Doctor, Doctor, I Broke Me Leg In Fifty Places!

Captn Stumpy is telling Doctor TreeAge he broke his leg in fifty places... and the Doctor says...

Cartoon Dialog:  Captn Stumpy is in Doctor TreeAge’s office…
Captn Stumpy: Doctor, Doctor, I broke me leg in fifty places!
Doctor TreeAge: Well, stay out of them places!
Sub Heading: Doctor TreeAge always offered sympathetic medical advice.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And…

W. C. Tree saying how a woman drove him to drink and he didn't...

Cartoon Dialog: W. C. Tree at the Bark n Barley Bar nipping on a bottle of Hard Water XXX.
W. C. Tree:  Ahhh, yes, my little Chick-A-Tree… a woman drove me to drink and I didn’t have the decency to thank her for it.

You’ve Got Short Term Memory Loss

Setting: Captn Stumpy in Doctor TreeAge’s office.
Doctor TreeAge: I’m sorry to say you have short term memory loss.
Captn Stumpy: Oh, thank God,,, I was afraid you were going to tell me I had short term memory loss.

Never Talk About Moderation In A Bar

WoodChips character W. C. Tree standing at the Bark n Barley bar talking about moderation.

Setting: W. C. Tree at the Bark n Barley Bar talking to Bartendress Mimosa while drinking Hard Water XXX from a bottle.
W. C. Tree:  Ahhh… yes, my little Chick-A-Tree… all things in moderation, I say, including moderation.

My Life Has A Great Cast Of Characters, But…

Maple is barbecuing and thinking her life has a great cast of characters, but she just can't figure out the...

Setting: Maple is barbecuing, holding a brew and flipping a burger…
Maple (thinking): My life has a superb cast… I just can’t figure out the plot.