Oakey Pokey’s Bag Full Of Chickens
Cartoon Dialog: Setting. Woody meets Oakey Pokey at a fork in the road. Oakey is carrying a bag.
Woody: What’s in the bag, Oakey Pokey?
Oakey Pokey: Chickens
Woody: So if I guess how many chickens will you give me one?
Oakey Pokey: Shucks, Woody, if you can guess how many chickens, I’ll give you both of them.
Coffee Cream Confusion
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody just finished a brew at the Bark n Barley Bar and thinks he needs some coffee.
Woody: Hey Mimosa, I’ll have a coffee without cream.
Mimosa: Sorry, we’re out of cream.
Mimsa (thinking): Hmm… but we do have milk.
Mimosa: How about a coffee without milk?
Whatever Happened To “A Chicken In Every Pot”
Cartoon Dialogue: Setting: Woody and W.C. Tree at the Bark n Barley Bar. A Hillary Clinton-like person talking on the bar TV.
Hillary-like person: …and we were so poor that the Arkansas Bank came over and repossessed the Free calendar they gave us at the county fair…
Woody: What ever happened to politicians promising “A chicken in every pot?”
W. C. Tree: Yeah… or saying “What this country needs is a good five cent cigar?”
What Would Happen If Moses Had An iPad
Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Moses is up in the mountains with an iPad. There is a scroll of the Ten Commandments laying at his feet.
Big Voice From The Sky (and lightning bolt): No, Moses, I said SCROLL DOWN to the Ten Commandments link, then press the ETCH IN STONE button.
Moses: Confused – question marks over his head.
Caption at Bottom: Moses thought his first iPad help desk call went rather badly.
Time Question Confusion
Cartoon Dialog:
Setting: Woody is having a brew at the Bark ‘n Barley Bar. Mimosa, the bartendress, is pouring another brew.
WoodY: Hey, Mimosa, do you know what time it is?
Mimosa: You mean right now?
How Fern Gives 100% At Work
Cartoon Setting:
Maple and Fern are chatting in the office by the water cooler and Fern’s computer workstation.
Maple: Mr. BigTwig said we should all give 100% at work…
Fern: Oh, I always give 100%… 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 45% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday…
Police Pull Over Confusion
Cartoon Dialog:
DeadWood, the acting police officer, is trying to pull Mimosa over. He is riding his Holly Davidson Unicycle. Mimosa is wearing a tight, pink, cardigan sweater.
DeadWood: Pull over.
Mimosa: No, it’s a cardigan, actually, but thanks for noticing.
Barbecue Bill Of Rights
Cartoon Dialog:
Setting: Elmer is barbecuing, drinking a brew and flipping a hamburger in the air with his barbecue tongs.
Elmer (thinking): This is so cool… I’m supporting the Bill of Rights. That one about the right of the people to keep and bear tongs.
