Cartoon Dialog: Setting: The EveryGreen WoodChips family is all gathered around the Christmas tree in their house.  Everyone has an iPhone in their hand.  Even DogWood and the mouse have an iPhone.

Caption: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
They were all on their iPhones.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mr. BigTwig at his desk in his office.  A consultant from ABC Consulting is talking to him.
Consultant: Hi, I’m Joe from ABC Consulting… Would you like your employees to stay focused on their jobs?
Mr. BigTwig. Absolutely!
Consultant: THEN STOP INTERUPTING THEM!!!

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Mimosa, Woody and the Indian are at the Bark n Barley Bar.  Woody looks pretty messed up with his arm in a sling.
Mimosa: What happened to you, Woody?
Woody: I have so many problems I don’t know where to start.
Mimosa: Well… that which doesn’t kill you makes you strong.
The Indian: Right, Woody.  Hmmm… except for problems with bears.  Bears will kill you.
Caption: There is always an exception to the rule.

Cartoon Dialog:  Setting: Maple and Fern are talking at work on Monday morning.
Maple: Good morning, Fern, how’s it going?
Fern: Oh God, it’s always the first five days after the weekend that are the hardest.

Get 4.333 More Smiles Per Month and Keep Your Life From Spinning Out Of Control with the new 2015 WoodChips Weekly Planner.

Hey, those funky monthly calendars only have 12 pictures for the year and tiny, microscopic little boxes to write in all your important stuff.  You could run out of space!  Miss important things!  Your life could spin out of control!  Aaaarrggghhhh!!!!

But the WoodChips Weekly Planner has BIG, Read the rest of this entry »

Cartoon Dialog:  Setting: Maple talking on two phones at her stockbroker office.
Maple: Buy, Sell.
Caption: There are just two rules to profitable investing.  Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Ha – that’s a good one.  Bet you thought I was going to say “Buy low, sell high.” (chuckle)

This month the WoodChips site received more views from China and our Chinese WoodChips friends than any other non US  country in the world.  So in honor of them we made this cartoon – using a great Chinese Proverb.  The Chinese have always had so many of these condensed pieces of wisdom about life.  And we hope the proverb in Chinese of  不要侮辱鱷魚，直到你過了河 means “It is best to cross the river first before telling the crocodiles they have bad breath” or something to that effect.

If it means this and our Chinese friends are amused and honored, then we take full credit for the traditional writing.  If not, and it means something totally crazy like I have a carrot stuck in my ear, then we lay the blame entirely on Read the rest of this entry »

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody and Mimosa at the Bark n Barley Bar and a newscaster announcing breaking news on the television.
Newscaster: BREAKING NEWS…Today the stock market crashed hundreds of points!  Attempting to reassure the public, the President said, “Let me be clear, if I wasn’t President, I’d be buying stocks right now.”
Mimosa: What do you think about that, Woody?
Woody: Oh, I agree with him… If he wasn’t the President, I’d be buying stocks too.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Woody meets Oakey Pokey at the Fork In The Road.  Oakey Pokey has a long gun over his shoulder and his sirt sleeves are torn off and laying in the road beside him.
Woody: What happened to your shirt sleeves, Oakey Pokey?
Oakey Pokey: I tore them off.
Woody: Why did you do that?
Oakey Pokey: ‘Cuz I’m excercising my constitutional right to bare arms.
Note a little arrow is pointing to Oakey Pokey’s bare, sleeveless arms.

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Maple and Elmer are watching legislation being passed in Washington D.C.

Senator: All in favor of the Omnibus Resolution for Perpetual War, Health Care Clarification Act (with 12,347 new rules), Freedom To Pilfer IRA Retirement Savings Act, the new Anticipated Dividend / Capital Gains Tax, Citizen’s Email Seizure Bill… hmmm… and funding Senator BlunderBum’s Grease My Campaign Contributors New Bridge To Nowhere Earmark… say Aye.

Maple: Oh My God!!!  We need another government just to protect us from our current government.