Okay, so I’m a little ashamed to admit this.  But for a while there I was beginning to think the major media in this country was not being so fair and balanced.  I’m referring to their reporting of our new American reality TV show called The Presidential Primaries.

Most specifically, I’m thinking about the inability of their newscasters to pronounce the name Ron Paul.
That seems simple enough.  It’s just two, one-syllable words.  Rawn Pawl, phonetically speaking.  And you would think these giants of journalism would have no problem saying something as simple as that.

But that’s just my opinion, so I did some field research to test it.  While visiting my neighbors the other day, I asked their two year old daughter Margaret to say Ron Paul.  Here’s a record of that boots on the ground field research.

J. Daniel:  Can you say Ron Paul?
Margaret: Wan Paw

Case closed – even a two year old can pronounce his name.

For those of you who don’t know who Ron Paul is, he’s one of the contenders for President in the Republican Party.   And he’s appeared on national TV every debate night along with all the other Presidential hopefuls like Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and hmmmm … I forget the other ones – oops.

Love him, hate him, or don’t know who he is, he darn near took first place back in August in the Iowa straw poll, coming in second, just barely behind flavor of the week Michele Bachmann, who took first place, and ahead of Mitt Romney, Newt, Rick Perry, etc.

You would have thought the media would be all over that – after all, it was a pretty big surprise.  But no, all they reported on was Michele, and Newt and Rick and Mitt.  But no Ron Paul.  And their reporting has been pretty sparse ever since then.

Huh?  How about the guy that almost beat number one Michele Bachmann – missed by a nose – Ron Paul?  Not a word.  Not a peep.  Like down at the racetrack, if the announcer called out the names of the horses who won first … third and fourth (not that I play the ponies, mind you … ahem).  Whatever happened to win, place and show?  It’s been like the major newscasters couldn’t pronounce his name.

Which struck me as a bit odd.  After all, they have no problem pronouncing names like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Persian: محمود احمدینژاد, Mahmūd Ahmadinezhād [mæhˈmuːd(-e) æhmædiːneˈʒɒːd] English: /ɑːkməˈdɪnɨʒɒd/.  You know, that prince of a fellow and Islamic President of Iran.

So for a while there, I began to have negative media thoughts, like … well, maybe they weren’t so fair and balanced, or maybe they were pushing their favorites, and even maybe they were trying to pick – or anoint – the winner – instead of that silly old boring stuff like just reporting the news and letting us decide.

I know, I know … rather cynical of me to think that way.

Okay – so that’s all old news.  But here’s where it gets interesting, because this is a story of redemption, of how my faith in the media was restored.

It eventually occurred to me that these Titans of Tautology really couldn’t say those words – they could only say the ones they knew over and over.  They have such high powered speech skills that one-syllable words were just too easy.  You know, how experts and geniuses can be brilliant and have the most difficult time doing something we find simple.  Like Einstein, who some say had trouble counting out change when he bought something.

But to their credit, it’s become clear to me that all the major newscasters stepped up to the problem and took remedial speech classes so they could learn to pronounce those two one-syllable words – Ron Paul.  I say that because lately I’ve been hearing his name bandied about on the news quite frequently.  The media has finally caught up to little two year old Margaret’s skills.

And I’m right proud of them.  And my faith in American journalism has been restored.

So have you felt the media has been fair and balanced throughout the Primary Race?  And can you say Wan Paw?  I’d love to hear your opinion on this – to see if I finally got my mind (and pronunciation) right.

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

P.S. My friend Charlie says they started reporting on him because he keeps showing up with bigger and bigger numbers in the polls and now they have to, but I think that’s just being crass and cynical.

So a screwdriver walks into a bar, and the bartender Mimosa says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.”  And the screwdriver says, “Really!  You have a drink named Murray?”

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

So Maple loves to go fishing … but Elmer has a different opinion entirely – like not so much.

Mr. BigTwig thinks this will never work on paper … oh dear.  I’ve been in a budget meeting or two where working on paper seemed to trump reality.  I had a name for those meetings – which I will not use in polite company.

Have you ever been in a budget meeting like this one (chuckle)?

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

Hey, it looks like the bankers are really into the spirit of Christmas, hmmm … as in “it’s better to receive than give” spirit, that is — what with their Holiday Season Fees, Santa Service Charge, Christmas Club Fees…

I don’t know about you but I’m about fee’d up!

Have a fee free Christmas – J. Daniel

Dear Santa,

This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body.  And please, don’t mix those two up like you did last year.

Sincerely, Maple EveryGreen

Here’s wishing most (chuckle)  of your holiday wishes come true – J. Daniel

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.  Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.  Yup – and be too big to fail at that.  Meaning we get to bail them out when they fail … hmmm … after we pay all the little fees and charges.

Ya gotta love it, don’t you?  Some days I wish I was a banker, don’t you  (chuckle).

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

What can be better than Cool and Free?!  So, hey, get your FREE 2012 WoodChips calendars here … they have all the cool holidays like Belly Laugh Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day – even National WoodChips Day … and yeah, yeah, we have all the normal, boring holidays on it as well — big deal …

Also, there are other calendars to choose from … and we’ll be adding more in the next few weeks, so you might want to check back from time to time…

So just scroll on down and Maple will point to where you need to sign up to get your cool calendars … and you get the free WoodChips newsletter as well …

And have a nice day – J. Daniel

P.S. Also, don’t mess with dragons (chuckle) – just a little health tip for you … or you’ll be having a bad day at the office like Sir BranchALot in the calendar cartoon above.

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Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons … for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup … hmmm … seems like good advice.  Maybe Sir BranchALot should have paid attention to that one.  Looks like he’s having a bad day at the office.

Ever had a bad day at the office like his … feel free to comment and let us know …

And have a better day today – J. Daniel

That Cherry.  She’s always thinking and writing in her journal.  And she’s got a tough question here she’s puzzling over.  Just where does that word go when you erase it.

Feel free to comment and leave an answer for her.

And have a nice day – J. Daniel

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