With the New Year approaching, many of us are figuring out resolutions, and maybe some are stumped.

I have a simple one for you that I heard from an old friend long ago.  It has stuck with me all these years.

His name is Wayne and I worked with him for some time.  I grew to appreciate the fact that Wayne had more common, practical sense than just about anyone I knew.  This is a big compliment because I consider common sense to be one of the most valuable skills in life, and we could sure use a lot more of it (particularly in Washington, D. C.).

So what Wayne told me was that he tried to learn one new thing a day – so that at the end of the year he knew 365 new things.  Now how simple, achievable, and practical is that?  And it must be a great goal because he went on to achieve significant professional success (and I’m sure was learning many new things a day, actually).

In today’s Internet age, there’s a zillion ways to do this, but just in case you need a kick start, here are two sites to begin with.  Every day, go to www.wikipedia.com and / or www.dictionary.com and look something up.

So what should you look up?  Well, anything from whimsical to news related.  Here are three off the top of my head I just looked up on Wikipedia while writing this post.

Look up something whimsical – Ice Cream. Who isn’t interested in ice cream?  Seriously, I’m pretty open-minded, but don’t think I want to know anyone not interested in ice cream (kidding – in case you are lactose intolerant).

Did you know the Persians probably created the first version of ice cream before 400 BC by pouring fruit juice over snow in a bowl?  And it looks like the Arabs were the first to use milk as a major ingredient in its production, sweeten the ice cream with sugar, and produce it commercially.  Ice cream was widespread by the 10th century among many of the Arab’s major cities, such as Baghdad, Damascus and Cairo.

I can see it now, a chain of Baghdad–Robbins 31 flavors ice cream tents in the crowed bazaars.

By the way, do you know when you pig out on ice cream (I call it ice cram) and get that brain freeze headache in your forehead that the pain really isn’t in your forehead?  The top of your mouth, which got really cold and is having problems, sends signals back to your brain via the trigeminal nerve, which also serves the facial area.  So the brain interprets the pain as coming from your forehead.  This is known as “referred pain” (something also seen during heart attacks).

So back to the ice cream, and seriously, folks, regardless of the turmoil in parts of the Arab world today, you have to give them credit for creating ice cream.  Clearly they had it going on back then.

Look up something news related – Rare Earths.  I just read in the news that China is going to restrict export of rare earths.  So I checked it out.  Rare earths (elements) are a collection of seventeen elements in the periodic table that have special qualities, are scarce minerals and most people probably haven’t heard about them.  Contrast that to some of the elements you are familiar with — like gold, silver, iron, oxygen, etc.

Interestingly, it turns out that they aren’t that rare, they are just more dispersed in the earth (which makes them hard to get).

As a photographer, it interest me that the rare earth element lanthanum is used to make highly reflective glass for camera lenses.  Didn’t know that.  Now I do.  Also, I find it interesting they all end in um, although this may not be all that useful (chuckle).

And my favorite is scandium.  Probably rare except in two places – Washington D.C. and Hollywood.  I’m constantly reading about scandiums in those places (I might have made that last part up).

Look up something spiritual – Chocolate.  Bet you didn’t think I was going there, did you?  But clearly, chocolate IS a spiritual experience, don’t you agree.

So let’s pay proper homage to our past “Americas” cousins, the Aztecs, for creating chocolate!  Good to know.  Here’s another new chocolate fact.   One theory, among many, about the origins of the word chocolate is that it came from their word “xocolātl” (/ʃo.ko.laːtɬ/) made up from the words “xococ” meaning sour or bitter, and “ātl” meaning water or drink.

Personally, I have problems with words beginning in X, so whatever caused the corruption of the word to the more pronounceable chocolate was a major advance in civilization akin to the discovery of fire, the invention of the steam engine, ATM’s and Facebook (I might have left a few out but just go with me on this).

So there you have it – three new things just like that.

Now, in the true spirit of common sense, I have a very practical New Year’s resolution suggestion for you here.  And it is to forget everything you just read in this post.  Then, on January 1, come back to the WoodChips site and read this post over again.  That way, you will have learned THREE new things on the first day of the year, and started the New Year two days ahead of schedule!

So how good is that?!?!

Carpe datum – J. Daniel

Trees make New Year’s resolutions too, you know.  After all, they grow a tree ring every year, so they like to plan for their future ring.  Lately it seems I’ve been growing a few too many rings, and some pretty thick ones at that, so I’ll touch on what to do about that later in the post.

But right now, here’s Elmer, sipping on a little Hard Water on New Year’s Eve and writing his New Year’s resolutions.

I think he’s got a pretty good list going here, don’t you?

He’s resolving to hit the hard water just a touch less and to eat less junk fertilizer, so he’s got the health improvement thing going on — always a good idea.  And he’s going to be nicer to his neighbors in the forest by not putting them so much in the shade.

And he’s doing something larger than himself — he’s going to help save the planet by resolving to absorb 25% more carbon dioxide in 2011 — a very environmentally friendly plan.  Of course, all the trees are environmentally green in their heartwood.

I really like his stretch goal of growing twelve feet next year — and his personal enlightenment goal of growing toward the sun.

But I favor most of all his resolution to pay more attention to his Tree Mate and shelter his saplings.  After all, family and friends are the most important thing when it comes right down to it.

Noticeably absent are some weight loss and exercise (swaying in the wind) goals.  There’s a very practical reason for this.  I ran out of space in the cartoon bubble (chuckle).  Actually, I could have worked them in, but chose instead to discuss these in a separate post called the Crystal Harris vs. Twinkie Diet.

Crystal Harris is  a 24 year old former Playboy Playmate who just became engaged to 84 year old Hugh Hefner.  Now the women in the auduence are going to read this with noble intentions of finding out what kind of diet she’s on to mantain a fit form.  But candidly, I have some REAL suspicions about why the guys are going to read this and click on the link I provide (G-Rated, Not X-Rated) … remember guys, for those of you that have ever bought a Playboy, you got it for the articles, right!?!?

Anyhow, I think you’ll find it most interesting.  I also show a chart of how I lost 30 pounds in six months using the Crystal Harris style diet, and the easy way I did it.  So you might want to check that out.

Meanwhile, back to Elmer, what do you think of his resolutions.  Can you think of any more “tree oriented” things he could resolve to do (example from above – swaying in the wind for exercise)?

If so, just click on the title of this post, and write your suggestions to Elmer in the comment box that appears below.

And Happy New Year to you from the WoodChips and myself – J. Daniel

Okay, so I’m a little ashamed to admit this.  But for a while there I was beginning to think the major media in this country was not being so fair and balanced.  I’m referring to their reporting of our new American reality TV show called The Presidential Primaries.

Most specifically, I’m thinking about the inability of their newscasters to pronounce the name Ron Paul.
That seems simple enough.  It’s just two, one-syllable words.  Rawn Pawl, phonetically speaking.  And you would think these giants of journalism would have no problem saying something as simple as that.

But that’s just my opinion, so I did some field research to test it.  While visiting my neighbors the other day, I asked their two year old daughter Margaret to say Ron Paul.  Here’s a record of that boots on the ground field research.

J. Daniel:  Can you say Ron Paul?
Margaret: Wan Paw

Case closed – even a two year old can pronounce his name.

For those of you who don’t know who Ron Paul is, he’s one of the contenders for President in the Republican Party.   And he’s appeared on national TV every debate night along with all the other Presidential hopefuls like Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and hmmmm … I forget the other ones – oops.

Love him, hate him, or don’t know who he is, he darn near took first place back in August in the Iowa straw poll, coming in second, just barely behind flavor of the week Michele Bachmann, who took first place, and ahead of Mitt Romney, Newt, Rick Perry, etc.

You would have thought the media would be all over that – after all, it was a pretty big surprise.  But no, all they reported on was Michele, and Newt and Rick and Mitt.  But no Ron Paul.  And their reporting has been pretty sparse ever since then.

Huh?  How about the guy that almost beat number one Michele Bachmann – missed by a nose – Ron Paul?  Not a word.  Not a peep.  Like down at the racetrack, if the announcer called out the names of the horses who won first … third and fourth (not that I play the ponies, mind you … ahem).  Whatever happened to win, place and show?  It’s been like the major newscasters couldn’t pronounce his name.

Which struck me as a bit odd.  After all, they have no problem pronouncing names like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Persian: محمود احمدینژاد, Mahmūd Ahmadinezhād [mæhˈmuːd(-e) æhmædiːneˈʒɒːd] English: /ɑːkməˈdɪnɨʒɒd/.  You know, that prince of a fellow and Islamic President of Iran.

So for a while there, I began to have negative media thoughts, like … well, maybe they weren’t so fair and balanced, or maybe they were pushing their favorites, and even maybe they were trying to pick – or anoint – the winner – instead of that silly old boring stuff like just reporting the news and letting us decide.

I know, I know … rather cynical of me to think that way.

Okay – so that’s all old news.  But here’s where it gets interesting, because this is a story of redemption, of how my faith in the media was restored.

It eventually occurred to me that these Titans of Tautology really couldn’t say those words – they could only say the ones they knew over and over.  They have such high powered speech skills that one-syllable words were just too easy.  You know, how experts and geniuses can be brilliant and have the most difficult time doing something we find simple.  Like Einstein, who some say had trouble counting out change when he bought something.

But to their credit, it’s become clear to me that all the major newscasters stepped up to the problem and took remedial speech classes so they could learn to pronounce those two one-syllable words – Ron Paul.  I say that because lately I’ve been hearing his name bandied about on the news quite frequently.  The media has finally caught up to little two year old Margaret’s skills.

And I’m right proud of them.  And my faith in American journalism has been restored.

So have you felt the media has been fair and balanced throughout the Primary Race?  And can you say Wan Paw?  I’d love to hear your opinion on this – to see if I finally got my mind (and pronunciation) right.

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

P.S. My friend Charlie says they started reporting on him because he keeps showing up with bigger and bigger numbers in the polls and now they have to, but I think that’s just being crass and cynical.

So a screwdriver walks into a bar, and the bartender Mimosa says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.”  And the screwdriver says, “Really!  You have a drink named Murray?”

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

So Maple loves to go fishing … but Elmer has a different opinion entirely – like not so much.

Mr. BigTwig thinks this will never work on paper … oh dear.  I’ve been in a budget meeting or two where working on paper seemed to trump reality.  I had a name for those meetings – which I will not use in polite company.

Have you ever been in a budget meeting like this one (chuckle)?

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

Hey, it looks like the bankers are really into the spirit of Christmas, hmmm … as in “it’s better to receive than give” spirit, that is — what with their Holiday Season Fees, Santa Service Charge, Christmas Club Fees…

I don’t know about you but I’m about fee’d up!

Have a fee free Christmas – J. Daniel

Dear Santa,

This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body.  And please, don’t mix those two up like you did last year.

Sincerely, Maple EveryGreen

Here’s wishing most (chuckle)  of your holiday wishes come true – J. Daniel

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.  Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.  Yup – and be too big to fail at that.  Meaning we get to bail them out when they fail … hmmm … after we pay all the little fees and charges.

Ya gotta love it, don’t you?  Some days I wish I was a banker, don’t you  (chuckle).

Have a nice day – J. Daniel

What can be better than Cool and Free?!  So, hey, get your FREE 2012 WoodChips calendars here … they have all the cool holidays like Belly Laugh Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day — even National WoodChips Day … and yeah, yeah, we have all the normal, boring holidays on it as well — big deal …

Also, there are other calendars to choose from … and we’ll be adding more in the next few weeks, so you might want to check back from time to time…

So just scroll on down and Maple will point to where you need to sign up to get your cool calendars … and you get the free WoodChips newsletter as well …

And have a nice day – J. Daniel

P.S. Also, don’t mess with dragons (chuckle) – just a little health tip for you … or you’ll be having a bad day at the office like Sir BranchALot in the calendar cartoon above.

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