Setting: W. C. Tree at the Bark n Barley Bar talking to Bartendress Mimosa while drinking Hard Water XXX from a bottle. W. C. Tree:  Ahhh… yes, my little Chick-A-Tree… all things in moderation, I say, including moderation.

Setting: Maple is barbecuing, holding a brew and flipping a burger… Maple (thinking): My life has a superb cast… I just can’t figure out the plot.

De-Suckify or desuckify: [dee-suhk'-if-aye]; verb; origins Latin suckus nil (literally to suck not); def. the act of trying to convince others that something that really sucks, doesn’t. Usage examples 1: A major US political party is currently trying to de-suckify certain health care legislation to the American public. 2: The computer systems engineers totally botched [...]

Cartoon Dialog: Setting: Elmer and Doctor TreeAge, both standing in his doctors office. Doctor TreeAge: I’m sorry to say that you have CDO. Elmer: What’s CDO? Doctor TreeAge: It’s like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order the way they should be. In Case Your Friend Didn’t Get The Joke: Hey, we know you got [...]

CARTOON DIALOG: Setting: Elmer watching the television news, almost spilling the drink in his hand. Newscaster: “This just in… Americans are richer than ever before… except for the poor and most of the middle class.”

Setting:  The Merry Woodster is trudging on a path with ice, in the cold.  Nearby is a church, but farther up on the hill is a tavern. Merry Woodster (thinking):  The church is near, but the roads are icy, the tavern is far, but I will walk carefully.