Beware The Evil “Ya Can’t Miss It” Directions People

Don’t you just love it when you ask someone for directions and they verbally rip them off faster than an auctioneer on speed, and then they end the sentence with, “Ya can’t miss it!”

Yes I can. 

I had this happen for the hundredth time in my life yesterday as I was trying to find a new park here in Orlando. 

It seemed simple enough from my due diligence search for Moss Park in MapQuest.  All I had to do was go south on Semoran Blvd, hang a left at Hoffner Rd, follow it as it turned into Narcoosee and then MapQuest indicated it was on my left at Youllneverfindit Rd (might have made that last one up). 

Put another way, hang a left out of my residence, then one more left and stay on that road until I was there.  Easy … can’t miss it. 

I did just that and sure enough, there was a park sign that said Moss Park was on the left … right there at Youllneverfindit Rd.  So I hung a left as instructed. 

Couldn’t find it. 

So I stopped in a 7-11 (where I had just bought a cherry slurpie a few minutes before wandering all over creation looking for the blamed Moss Park) and asked them if Moss park was nearby.  

“Oh yes, your right there,” was the reply. 
“Is it on the left,” I asked.
“Yes, it’s on the left.”
“About how far from here.”
“Oh, about ¾ of a mile … Ya can’t miss it!” 

So I wandered around for some time, apparently missing it and missing it.  Finally, out of desperation and with no other idea what to do I just kept driving on Youllneverfindit Rd … and finally found it. 

Which is amazing, since it wasn’t on the left.  Youllneverfindit Rd actually dead ends straight into the park,  so it was technically on the “straight ahead,” not the left or right.  And it wasn’t ¾ of a mile, which kept making me turn around and go back after 2 or 3 miles.  It was 7 miles down the road. 

So outside of MapQuest being wrong, the side of the road I was being told being wrong, and the distance being wrong … well, “ya just can’t miss it.” 

I’m thinking next time I ask for directions, I hope they end the conversation with “you sure can miss it,” or better yet “You’ll probably never find it anyway.” 

Somehow I feel that will give me more confidence and hope.  I guess it’s a Zen thing. 

Have a nice day … ya can’t miss it – J. Daniel

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